There's love, and then there's LOVE love...
"Love can damage more than you can heal with drinking." - Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
Once upon a time, there was a reflective man. These days, people might want to capitalize his pronouns, and force conversions. That can get in the way of his message, which very often had little to do with ideology, and a lot to do with people.
This reflective man, in his effort to teach the people the way, realized that we "do love" very differently, that our genders limited us to certain socially approved expressions of caring.
And that these ways did not co-exist gladly.
In the three years before he got himself nailed to a tree for telling everyone to be nice to each other, he spoke to a lot of people. He visited the sisters Mary and Martha often, with their brother Lazarus several times - not to be confused with the other Lazarus, who may or not be the same person, or the other two Marys, or the... oh, screw it. Look, he visited these folks.
This reflective man would often talk to the people, and try to get them to understand the way. Usually, they were dense as rocks. He spoke to them in stories, spoke in allegory, and they didn't get it. Or rather, his followers, who were men, utterly failed to get it. They wanted violence, they wanted action. It was all about taking care of things.
Like Martha did. She was cooking and cleaning, like a lower-class man. While the reflective man's friends sat around, completely misunderstanding something about how to help others, Martha was fulfilling the male role. She was showing affection by taking care of things, by providing. The reflective man saw this opportunity to show his friends how they, also used to showing love only in actions and providing for others, should concentrate on all forms of love. That like Mary, Martha should be able to also cuddle and show affection, and in turn, his male followers should do the same.
They didn't get it.
Later, the one who would later get him nailed to a tree saw Mary (a different one, thus demonstrating the need for last names) using oil on the reflective man's feet. This disciple railed against the waste, wanting instead to sell the oil for... providing for the poor. Again, the reflective man tries to show that both ways of love have equal value.
Again, they don't get it.
And then the reflective man gets nailed to a tree, the philosophical zombies get a hold of his philosophy, and somehow the love gets squeezed right out of the whole thing.